Best Ever Rum Cake

1 tsp. Sugar
1 tsp. soda
lemon juice
1 cup butter
1 cup dried fruit
2 large eggs
brown sugar
baking powder
1 or 2 quarts of Rum

Before starting, sample rum to check quality. Good, isn't it? Now proceed. Select large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check rum again. It must be just right. To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanmwhile, make sure rum is still alright. Try another cup. Open second quart if necessary. Add leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, pry loose with drewscriber. Sample rum again, checking for tonscisticity. Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (really dosen't matter). Sample rum. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 bablespon of brown sugar -- or whatever color you can find. Wix mell. Grease oven. Turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Pour mess into boven and ake. Check rum again and bo to ged.

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