Commuter’s Corner #14
Living the Good Life in the Street with Hostile Motorists
Now that the pandemic is sort of maybe winding down, and it’s warm again so people are out on the road, it is time to review how to handle unenlightened fellow travelers. You know who I mean: motorists who think bikes and cyclists don’t belong. You know who I especially mean: ignorant motorists who ty to intimidate cyclists off the road by honking and bellowing and similar such nonsense.
I have seen four approaches for cyclists to respond. You can consider more than one, as they depend in part on how much time there is to interact with the motorists. Here we go:
Option 1: respond in kind. This variously means yelling profanity back at them, shaking your fist/wagging your finger, and otherwise bellowing incoherently. I don’t recommend this option. I find that it tends to escalate the situation and seems to confirm in motorists’ minds that NOPE, cyclists sure don’t belong. I know, I know: you’d think acting like them ought to have the opposite effect. Alas, it does not. They remain ignorant. So, other options?
Option 2: ignore them. This is for when they are still behind you, exercising their free speech rights. At first, I thought ignoring their speech was going to be a fast route to being run over. I tried it anyway, and am happy to report that I was proven entirely wrong. What is more, I found it empowering. Yep, I’m here in the street and motorists can bellow all they like, but I’m going to focus on what’s in front of me, just like I should. Without exception, it seems to dawn on them that they’ll just have to wait, or change lanes to pass. Imagine that, traffic flow! So, I recommend option 2. But wait, there are more!
Option 3: wave at them while smiling. This is for when they pass you by, possibly illegally, as when they ignore that solid yellow line painted down the middle of the road. The point here is to take the high road, metaphorically speaking, by refusing to respond in kind. I’ve never had anyone take exception, and in any event no harm is intended. So option 3 probably can’t hurt. If they’re looking while they pass, the wave-smile might make them think. Not a bad thing among the ignorant.
Option 4: the dog bark. I reserve this for those times when motorists have been especially unkind or aggressive in their behavior and their windows are open and they wish to exchange pleasantries. I channel my inner Nancy Reagan and I just say "NO!” This takes some technique: you need to inhale to full lung capacity, look them in the eye, and bark NO out in as deep a baritone as you can muster. If there is time, you can follow the dog bark with a double whammy of “SHARE the ROAD!” Where “share” and “road” are exhales and “the” is for a quick second inhale. Observe that there is no profanity, no middle fingers, and no name calling involved. Every time, I’ve found it gives the erstwhile antagonist pause. In a couple of instances, when I later encountered the same car and driver, their attitude was remarkably less aggressive. I therefore employ option 4 sparingly, but I employ it. And I go back out there again the next day, considering my options anew.